. You and your friends will laugh and laugh at this funny joke book. Uses for. Only a genius can say these four words out loud four times without stuttering: Eye, Yam, Stew, Peed. Congratulations, you are now a genius. Do Lipton Tea employees take coffee breaks? What hair color do they put on the driver's licenses of bald men? Isn't making a smoking section in a restaurant like making a peeing section in a swimming pool? If you take an Oriental person and spin hi One Liner Jokes That Are So Dumb, They're Funny Part 2 - 15 Pic
Did you hear about the Buddhist who refused Novocain during a root canal? He wanted to transcend dental medication. The Giant Book of Insults : Incorporating 2000 Insults for All Occasions and 2000 More Insults by Louis A. Safian Our Price: $12.00 Book description: A collection of sharp retorts and ripostes, pithy pot-shots, caustic quips and polite and not-so-polite putdowns One-Liners (Funny One-Liner Jokes for Adults): BOOM! Jokes, Puns, One-Liners, and Adult Jokes by Various 14 ratings, 2.36 average rating, 0 reviews Open Preview.
One liner tags: age, family, food, rude, sarcastic. 86.05 % / 10145 votes. About a month before he died, my uncle had his back covered in lard. After that, he went down hill fast. One liner tags: death, family, puns. 85.85 % / 10557 votes. Alcohol is a perfect solvent: It dissolves marriages, families and careers 20 One Liner Cat Jokes 05/15/2014 06/10/2016 Cat Humor jokes, One Liner. Why don't cats play poker in the jungle? Too many cheetahs. What is a cat's way of keeping law & order? Claw Enforcement. Did you hear about the cat who swallowed a ball of wool? She had mittens Our funny one-liner jokes are short, sweet and make you laugh. Steal these classic one-liner jokes in our collection of the best one-liner jokes from experts in funny like Milton Berle and Conan O.
A sailor drops anchor in a port and heads into the nearest pub. Everyone in the pub is whispering and pointing at him because of his odd shaped body; he has a very muscular body, but a very tiny head on his shoulders. As he orders his drink, he tells the bartender, I'll explain. I get this in every port and town I visit. I caught a mermaid and. 49. I had to stop drinking, cause I got tired of waking up in my car driving 90. - Richard Pryor. 50. The liberals can understand everything but people who don't understand them. - Lenny Bruce. 51. Honesty may be the best policy, but it's important to remember that apparently, by elimination, dishonesty is the second-best. Are you looking for the most recent one-liners, quotes, jokes and proverbs? Look no further, here is a summary of the latest additions, page 1
One-Liner Walks Into a Bar Jokes. Walks Into a Bar Jokes: Longer Jokes (but just as funny) Funny Bar Jokes - a handful of other jokes that we deem worthy enough to be have a home on our site. More Great Jokes plus Holiday Jokes - here are another dozen or so jokes that include some Halloween jokes, Thanksgiving jokes and Christmas jokes “De Beers” and “the beers” are both very costly, and both can sometimes get similar results from your girlfriend. Sometimes you just want to make someone laugh, but are short on time. This is where one-liner jokes come in. A surefire shortcut to laughter, they lighten the mood of the room and are guaranteed to get people giggling in seconds TOP 100 funny one-liners! Welcome at Onelinerz.net. Home of the TOP 100 funny one-liners, sayings, quotes, jokes and proverbs! Are you a fan of famous quotes, funny one-liners, cute sayings, english proverbs or just plain silly short jokes? Are you looking for the funniest one-liner ever? Then this is the place for you One Line Groaners - Funny One-Liners Jokes. Clean Christian jokes, funny jokes, free jokes, and clean one-liner jokes and words of wit and wisdom. Enjoy a wide variety of funny Christian jokes, good clean jokes, and family safe jokes and religious humor. I think that if Aliens ever visit earth, we should act superior to them; I mean, sure they can travel through space faster than the speed of.
One-Liner Jokes, Holiday Jokes (St. Patrick's Day Jokes) , Sex Jokes (Private Parts) , Word Play Jokes, Ethnic / Country Jokes (Irish Jokes) , Pickup Lines (Guy to Girl) Share Via E-Mai Puns, oneliners and dry humor. 6.5K likes. Comedia Chemistry terminology and jargon is ripe for puns and intellectual humor. Below is a collection of chemistry jokes , puns, riddles, and one-liners. Old Chemist One-Liner How do you get a sweet 80-year-old lady to say the F word? Get another sweet little 80-year-old lady to yell *BINGO*!o O o
We've collected some of the best medical puns and jokes across the web, so you can treat yourself to some FDA-approved (okay, not really) all-natural medical humor. Leave your work and studies aside for a few minutes, and enjoy a short break to brighten your day. RCB / Flickr / CC BY. 1. Statistically. 9 out of 10 injections are in vein Funny One-Liners Jokes - Christian Jokes. Clean Christian jokes, funny jokes, free jokes, and clean one-liner jokes and words of wit and wisdom. Enjoy a wide variety of funny Christian jokes, good clean jokes, and family safe jokes and religious humor One line jokes that fit all situations! Read our funny one line jokes to expand your humor vocabulary with addition of more one liner jokes
Best New One liner Jokes Why name hurricanes lame names, like Sandy? Name that shit Hurricane Death Megatron 300 and I guarantee niggas be evacuating like they need to Funny One Liner Jokes We have the largest collection of one liner jokes on the internet. You won't find a better assortment of knock knock jokes, short jokes, dirty jokes, adult jokes, clean jokes, and yo mama jokes anywhere My girlfriend told me she was leaving me because I keep pretending to be a Transformer. I said, "No, wait! I can change."
One Liner Hospital Jokes . Huge list of some great quotes from your favorite people, movies, and shows. Here are some great one-liners for you to enjoy 1-20 21-40 41-60 61-80 81-100. Do not argue with an idiot. He will drag you down to his level and beat you with experience. I want to die peacefully in my sleep, like my grandfather.. Not screaming and yelling like the passengers in his car. I asked God for a bike, but I know God doesn't work that way. So I stole a bike and asked for forgiveness
Hundreds of jokes posted each day, and some of them aren't even reposts! Press J to jump to the feed. Press question mark to learn the rest of the keyboard shortcuts. log in sign up. User account menu • Oneliner:fun Absolutely hillarious sex one-liners! The largest collection of sex one-line jokes in the world. All sorted from the best by our visitors. See TOP 10 sex one liners. I got a new pair of gloves today, but they're both 'lefts' which, on the one hand, is great, but on the other, it's just not right.
1-20 21-40 41-60 61-80 81-100. TOP 100 runners-up. One-liners that did not make it to the TOP 100! Go To Runners-Up. Social Bookmarks. You can add our page to your favourite social-networking website like Facebook, Twitter, MySpace, Digg, StumbleUpon,. Did you know that William Tell and his family were avid bowlers? Yes, it's true. But, unfortunately, all the bowling league records were destroyed in a fire, so we will never know for whom the Tells bowled.
My girlfriend told me she was leaving me because I keep pretending to be a Transformer. I said, “No, wait! I can change.”At every party there are two kinds of people: those who want to go home and those who don’t. The trouble is, they are usually married to each other.
We are no longer supporting IE (Internet Explorer) as we strive to provide site experiences for browsers that support new web standards and security practices.. I used to have winter fat but now I have spring rolls. Love may be blind, but marriage is a real eye-opener. Pampered cows produce spoiled milk. I saw a sign that said watch for children and I thought, That sounds like a fair trade. Why is it so hard for women to find men that are sensitive, caring, and good.
What is your favorite one-liner joke? 3.9k comments. share. save hide report. 86% Upvoted. This thread is archived. New comments cannot be posted and votes cannot be cast. Sort by. best. level 1. 193 points · 5 years ago. I don't hold grudges, my father did and I always hated him for it. 1 more reply. level 1 Cheap dictionary One Liner joke 06/10; Politics one liner joke 05/13; Computer One liners jokes 04/27; Antenna one liner joke 04/23; Experience one liner joke 04/16; Bus one liner joke 04/16; Thermometer joke one liner 04/11; Fire joke one liner 04/11; Two kinds of people at every party joke 04/01; Recipe one liner joke 03/29; Chaos one liner. . Award winning writer of one liner jokes and general comedy. Learn More. Everyone in our village lives to a ripe old age when the council gave them a new cemetery they had to shoot someone to get it going. 7-May-2018. I did not invent the glove puppet but I had a hand in it Popular Jokes. Irish One Liner Jokes » Irish One Liner Joke 01 Q. I hear Murphy died,... Irish Pub Sausage Joke » Shamus and Murphy fancied a pint or two but didn't... The Irishman's 3 Wishes Joke » An Irishman is sitting at the end of a bar.... Funny Irish Jokes » Funny Irish Joke 01 Finnegin: Me wife has a terrible..
In 1853, the Tate Watch Company of Connecticut decided to branch out and produce other products. Compasses for the pioneers traveling west were their first new endeavor. Although they produced fine and accurate watches, the same was not true of their compasses. Travelers would sometimes end up in Canada or Mexico. Thus came about the phrase, "He who has a Tate's is lost." An owner of a painting company needs to hirer a painter for a job he is doing. So he goes down to unemplyoment to hire a painter. They tell him they don t have any - the only person they have is at the moment is a gynecologist. He says that won t do, he needs a painter. They tell him they are sorry. He really needs an extra set of hands so. Tommy Cooper Jokes - One liners (Cooperisms) Tommy Cooper was more than a catch phrase, he had an original approach. Biographers say that in his earliest days, Tommy Cooper was so nervous that he made unintentional mistakes, he soon saw that if he could recreate these accidents then he would have people rolling in the aisles
5 News Jokes; 2 Office Jokes; 16 One Liner Jokes; 2 Pickup Jokes; 2 Pilot Jokes; 5 Pirate Jokes; 3 Police Jokes; 13 Political Jokes; 17 Pop Culture Jokes; 1 Programmer Jokes; 21 Puns; 7 Redneck Jokes; 19 Relationship Jokes; 21 Religious Jokes; 3 Salespeople Jokes; 12 School Jokes; 4 Science Jokes; 1 SciFI Jokes; 4 Sport Jokes; 2 Star Wars Jokes. Hero Images/Getty Images. Who doesn't love some good bad jokes?Moms and dads alike are sure to love these one liners, smart jokes, and punny jokes.This list is bound to make you laughor at the very least smile! Read on and add these one liner jokes to your collection so you can rattle them off at your next funny family get-together.. I can't believe I got fired from the calendar factory. 15 best one-liner jokes. From oneminutelist.com. 15 best jokes Posted on October I at 2014 I was walking down the road when I saw a TV for sale in a shop windo A boy is selling fish on a corner. To get his customers' attention, he is yelling, Dam fish for sale! Get your dam fish here! A pastor hears this and asks, Why are you calling them 'dam fish.' The boy responds, Because I caught these fish at the local dam. The pastor buys a couple fish, takes them home to his wife, and asks her to cook. As usual, here are some unoriginal old puns for a Friday a day where a cheesy one-liner helps make it feel closer to the weekend. They come with no guarantee of hilarity or quality. I bought five watches the other day. I have a lot of time on my hands. If you see someone doing a crossword today, just lean over & say 7 up is Lemonad
Funny One-Liners 1 - Funny One-Liners Jokes. Clean Christian jokes, funny jokes, free jokes, and clean one-liner jokes and words of wit and wisdom. Enjoy a wide variety of funny Christian jokes, good clean jokes, and family safe jokes and religious humor. Ninety-nine percent of lawyers give the rest a bad name Borrow money from a pessimist -- they don't expect it back Time is what keeps things. One Liner Naughty Jokes Posted: November 9, 2011 | Author: Admin | Filed under: One Liner Jokes | Tags: one liner jokes | Leave a comment Your kid may be an honors student, but you're still an idiot. Some drink at the fountain of knowledge. Others just gargle Trouble remembering jokes? Well not anymore. These are the One liner jokes, they are easy to remember and funny and you can make anyone laugh. Read them and see if you can find a new favorite of yours.
A collection of the best funny one liners. funny one liners this blog is based on funny one liners , sad one liners , witty one liners , funny one liner. Sunday, 8 July 2012 clean one liner jokes. Do you suppose the inventor of the vibrator heard a voice that said, If you build it, they will come Doctor, there's a patient on line 1 that says he's invisible. Well, tell him I can't see him right now. One liner tags: communication, doctor, puns. 84.64 % / 2496 votes. Atheism is a non-prophet organization. One liner tags: christian, puns. 84.64 % / 3494 votes. My dad died when we couldn't remember his blood type. As he died, he kept.
Here are funny one liner jokes and puns. We hope these short jokes and puns make you laugh. If you want more, check out these other jokes. A one-liner is a joke that is delivered in a single line. A good one-liner is said to be pithy - concise and meaningful. Comedians and actors use this comedic method as part of their act, e.g. Jimmy Carr, Tommy Cooper, Rodney Dangerfield, Norm Macdonald, Ken Dodd, Stewart Francis, Zach Galifianakis, Mitch Hedberg, Anthony Jeselnik, Milton Jones, Shappi Khorsandi, Jay London, Mark Linn-Baker. Absolutely hillarious dirty one-liners! The largest collection of dirty one-line jokes in the world. All sorted from the best by our visitors. See TOP 10 dirty one liners. Short jokes - funny one liners (1 to 10) - Short funny jokes. These jokes are less 300 chars long, so easy to remember! These are the jokes listed 1 to 10
A skeleton clanks into a bar… he says to tge barman, “Barman, get me a beer and a mop.”What you get when you cross a donkey with an onion. A piece of ass that will bring a tear to your eye.
The anti-ageing advert that I would like to see is a baby covered in cream saying, 'AAAAH, I've used too much!!' I could tell my parents hated me, my bath toys were a toaster and a radio. Rodney Dangerfield. I have a lot of growing up to do. I realised that the other day inside my fort. - Zach Galifianakis India loves puns and one liners. In the fast paced and heady lifestyle of our country, we don't have time to ponder over the most sophisticated of jokes and all that other elitist bull winkle October 9, 2017. Lifestyle / Technology. It is good to have a laugh once in a while, especially if you are working hard in technology sector. We have collected some of the best technology one-liner humor and jokes which are sure to please the tech geek in you. Enjoy our collection of funny, geeky, tech, programmer and computer jokes below and. Stupid Jokes: One Liners. Save the whales. Collect the whole set. A day without sunshine is like, night. On the other hand, you have different fingers. I just got lost in thought. It was unfamiliar territory. 42.7 percent of all statistics are made up on the spot. 99 percent of lawyers give the rest a bad name Best and worst one-liner jokes Discussion in 'The Powder Keg' started by Oxford, Feb 24, 2003. Feb 24, 2003 #1 . Oxford G&G Evangelist. 17,218 661. Gladstone, Missouri. Two peanuts walk into a bar. One was a salted. ----- A jumper cable walks into a bar. The barman says I'll serve you, but don't start anything..
One-liner poo jokes Poo memes Long poo jokes Why is poo funny? Funny poo photos Poo Tales Send us poo Poo forum Poo puns Short poo jokes - for when you need a quick fix. Have you heard about that new movie Constipation? It hasn't come out yet. Why did Tigger stick his head in the toilet? He was looking for Pooh.. Whoever invented knock-knock jokes should get a no-bell prize. The best way to get over a man is to get under another one. The hardest part of dating a blind woman is getting her husband's voice right. I'm not saying let's go kill all the stupid people. I'm just saying let's remove all the warning labels and let the problem work itself out 21 Of The Funniest One-Liner Jokes Ever Told. I like to hold hands at the movies. Which always seems to startle strangers. by Alex Finnis. BuzzFeed Staff, UK 1. British scientists have. one liner jokes. $8.00 won 5 votes. Favorite this joke. This Joke Already Won! Just found out on my tax return that there's a limit on dependents... I thought 45 was reasonable, but I was wrong. CATEGORY One Liner Jokes. 7th Place won $8.00. posted by Fasteddie686 | 16 days ago. A Ford Taurus and Uranium. Favorite this joke
Here are some One Liner Medical Jokes items I have now: The best doctor in the world is the veterinarian. He can't ask his patients what is the matter - he's got to just know. Sign at the Urologist's office: URINE good hands. How are enemas and divorces alike? At first they are both pretty crappy but in the long run they feel pretty good!. Customer to book store owner: "I'd like to return this book on modern medical procedures." Owner: "Is there something wrong with it?" Customer: "Someone removed the appendix." All time funniest One Liner jokes and comebacks. Updated regularly to bring you the best one liner jokes and witty comebacks on the web Jokes - Work Puns Home > Clean One Liner Puns Home Men vs Women Jokes Dumb Criminals Old Age Jokes Girlie Wisdom Out of the Mouth of Babes Answer This Computer Jokes Engineer Jokes Physics Jokes Flying Jokes Christian Jokes Choir Proficiency Test Legal Jokes Regional Jokes Montana Florida Florida Hurricanes New England Pacific Northwest. Aug 16, 2016 - Funny Jokes, Pictures and Videos. Hilarious one-liners, blonde jokes, yo' mama jokes, knock-knock jokes, clean jokes, dirty jokes and pick up lines. See more ideas about One liner jokes, One liner and Jokes
30 Funniest One Liner Jokes 27 Best President Jokes 20 Best Banker Jokes Kevin Hart Funny Quotes. Free Stuff. Now that we have your attention, get our awesomely funny app from Apple App Store for free. Get it because it's faster than the guy who's running to pee. Get it because it has lots of funny jokes that will make you laugh One-liners are just as they sound; short jokes that get to the punchline quickly. They are often preprepared, while they can also be the result of some quick, on the spot thinking. Here's is a look at some one-liner jokes that we think you will find hilarious
The funniest one liner jokes and puns on the internet. These short jokes and puns will make you laugh for sure. We also have other funny jokes categories . Browse literally thousands of totally free funny jokes, riddles, cartoons, pictures, videos and more. Most popular humor and joke blog on the internet. F&J is here! Here's a quick and dirty arsenal of one-liner jokes that are sure to make you the life of the party. Rest assured that nobody will still be talking to you when.
. Written by Scott Yates. @blogmutt There's no such place as a pun-itentiary, but if there were, this post would be sentenced to the max. While the content of this post does absolutely nothing for SEO, we thought it was a good idea to do anyway.. Any married man should forget his mistakes, there’s no use in two people remembering the same thing. A: Lawyer's don't think they're funny, and no one else thinks they're jokes. Q: Where can you find a good lawyer? A: At the city morgue. Q: What is the difference between a female lawyer and a pitbull? Q: What's the difference between a good lawyer and a bad lawyer? A: A bad lawyer can let a case drag out for several years. A good lawyer can.
Jokes, Puns and One-Liners. A large collection of files with dumb jokes, witty one-liners, new definitions for words, and groanable puns. Some new aphorisms: Little sayings for the modern age: Bathroom wall humour: Funny things found on bathroom walls: Book Title Puns Funny One Liner Jokes. AJokeADay.com: Where It Pay$ To Be Funny! CASH PRIZES to the Top 10 Jokes every week! - Page 1
Dirty One Liner Jokes, Sick One Liner Joke, Funny One Liner Jokes, Gross One Liner Jokes. One Liners: Depression is merely anger without enthusiasm. Drink 'till she's cute, but stop before the wedding. Eagles may soar, but weasels don't get sucked into jet engines. Early bird gets the worm, but the second mouse gets the cheese. 24 Apr 2019 - Explore ganesh327's board One liner jokes on Pinterest. See more ideas about Jokes, Funny pictures and Funny
One liners, oneliners or 1 liners jokes, humor. Oneliners page 1 2 3 4 5. Never trust a dog to watch your food. Talk is cheap because supply exceeds demand Dumb Groaner Puns and Jokes. Date Received: Thu, 27 Aug 1998. Did you hear about the dyslexic Satanist? He sold his soul to Santa Did you hear about the guy that lost his left arm and leg in a car crash? He's all right now. How do crazy people go through the forest Having sex is like playing bridge. If you don't have a good partner, you'd better have a good hand. When everything's coming your way, you're in the wrong lane. I say no to alcohol, it just doesn't listen. If you can't convince them, confuse them. Whenever I find the key to success, someone changes the lock User account menu. hot new top rising. pinned by moderators. r/Oneliners hits 50k subs! Once you realize Trumps top military adviser is The Beach Boys it makes more sense why he wants to bomb bomb bomb, bomb bomb Iran. They wanted me to join their war but Iran. My wife used to smoke after sex, so we started using lubricant One Liner Love Relationship Shayari Jokes In Hindi July 18, 2016 Yeh ishq karna chhod diya yaro. warna hum toh aaj bhi palat ke dekh le toh ladkiyan somvar ke vrat
1-20 21-40 41-60 61-80 81-100. Fighting for peace is like fucking for virginity. If sex is a pain in the ass, then you're doing it wrong... To steal ideas from one person is plagiarism. To steal from many is research. If God is watching us, the least we can do is be entertaining. If 4 out of 5 people SUFFER from diarrhea... does that mean that. One-Liner Jokes. Back to: People Jokes: Doctor Jokes. What do you call 2 orthopedic doctors reading an EKG? A double blind study! Q What is the difference between God and an orthopedic surgeon A God dosn't think he is an orthopedic surgeon. Did you hear about the latest birth control pill for men Did you know there are two kinds of nails? One kind you hammer & the other you trim. Just be careful which one you hammer next time. Clean Short Jokes, Funny One Line Jokes . An onion can make people cry but there has never been a vegetable invented to make them laugh. ~ Will Rogers. When I come to one of the forks in the road of life, I don't waste time and energy wishing it was a spoon. ~ Miss Piggy. All reports are in. Life is now officially unfair